The Christian Sabbath visited upon me and all the usual crew had deserted me for other rides further afield or trivial commitments like family. Finding myself alone I wired myself into the Nano ambled my chunky behind onto the saddle and set of for a pootle classic in reverse. With no socialising to be done and the rhythm of my “Guilty Pleasure†tracks upbeat the pace was good and the solid ground made the going even faster.
I crossed Scotchman Lane and the opening mandolin refrain of REM’s “Losing My Religion†flooded into my ear canals.
Life is bigger
Its bigger than you
And you are not me
The lengths that I will go to
The distance in your eyes
Oh no Ive said too much
I set it up
The steel gate was wide open and I stuck to the middle of the cassette keeping the cadence up on the initial shallow part of what is to come
Thats me in the corner
Thats me in the spotlight
Losing my religion
Trying to keep up with you
I pass two people chatting over the fence their smiling gesturing conversation lost to my single minded goal; middle ring to the summit.
And I dont know if I can do it
Oh no Ive said too much
I havent said enough
A single click on the pod by my thumb and the track is beginning to narrow, barbed wire fence to the left and thorned evil hedgerow to the right. The musical rhythm helping me to retain a reasonable cadence.
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
More clicks of the shifter and the lactic burn is beginning to manifest as the trail become yet narrower, my lungs hurt, I’m pushing hard sweat prickling all over my body.
Every whisper
Of every waking hour im
Choosing my confessions
Trying to keep an eye on you
Like a hurt lost and blinded fool
Oh no Ive said too much
I set it up
I only have myself to race today and the pain is now on, I have nowhere to go on the cassette all that is left ahead of me will have to be my own suffering and go. My legs are burning.
Consider this
The hint of the century
Consider this
The slip that brought me
To my knees failed
What if all these fantasies
Come flailing around
Now Ive said too much
The end is in sight the broken bricks and solid un-seasonal ground rumble below the tyres jolting my body and frame; control barely maintained. I clear trail debris with ease the summit near.
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you sing
I think I thought I saw you try
The trail funnels to it’s tightest point and I cut right to try and avoid the frozen puddle dead centre of the path. My heart is pounding, blood rushing, senses on fire every pedal stroke is broken down to milliseconds of it’s revolution. I’m mere feet away from the end. An attempt never realised. A grasp at what other riders never consider a challenge but means so much to me. I can do this. I’ve done it in summer. I can do it now. Front wheel briefly popped over the uneven ground the prize is near. The rear wheel crests the mound and the purchase desired is absent. A very loud “FUCK†escapes my lungs as I bow my head for the final few feet with the bike at my side.
But that was just a dream
That was just a dream
Fat Lad
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