Bicycle mechanics are, by and large, simple creatures. The pay is typically poor, the hours retail and we’re hidden away with the tools in the dark places. But… we love it. Wouldn’t have it any other way. Broken bikes turned into pedaling pride and joy is a thing of brilliance.
However to make your local mechanics life even happier follow these simple suggestions, not only will your steed be running smooth and true once more but you will have lifted your spanner wielding monkey’s heart.
1) Wash your bike
Being a mechanic is a dirty job but someone has to do it. (I’m sorry the cliche police will be here soon…)Â Getting oil or brake fluid on your cheeky niche bicycle t-shirt is one thing but when you are up to your GT85 fume glazed eyeballs in mud or road film it can make the job miserable. I have an apron, I wear gloves, but please have some consideration before bringing your pride and joy to the stand.
2)Your mechanic is human, sometimes we make mistakes.
We do, a busy workshop plus a busy shop floor can mean that we may miss the obvious. Occasionally we might misdiagnose the problem. But sometimes, for whatever reason, the brake fluid drinking chap from the back gets things wrong.
Do us one littler favour: Bring it back to us.
Pride is a powerful thing. Our reputations as mechanics are a sacred things. I would rather someone bring something back ten times than have the rider slag me off trailside…
3)Your mechanic is almost certainly not on commission. Take their advice.
If your mechanic tells you that a new chain and cassette is required. It’s required. Sadly you almost certainly won’t get away with just a chain. Parts wear out, even a really good mechanic can’t ignore the rules of physics and this means that even though you’ve ‘only’ been riding every day for the last three years you will need new bits every now and again. I think it would surprise some of our customers to find out their isn’t a black market in used drive train parts.
4) But, your mechanic is not an infallible encyclopedia of all things two wheeled.
That would be Sheldon Brown. We can’t possibly know all the combinations of all the various parts from all the many many manufactures. Please don’t get exasperated if we don’t know the exact number of chain links needed for an obscure French made track bike you’re making into a fixie with 40 year old parts off the top of our heads. A good mechanic won’t try and blag you but will instead say something like “Honestly I don’t know but I’ll look into it for you…” Then curse you under his breath whilst browsing Sheldon’s site…
5) Please don’t ask for something doing for free
“If I buy this from here will you fit it for nothing?” This sentence has just made every mechanic in the land shudder. I am a qualified, skilled and experienced mechanic. I’ve served my time in the wrench trench and sorry people but our time isn’t available for free, our meagre wage has to come from somewhere.
Why not go ask a chef to just whip you up a Michelin star quality meal for nothing. After all he’s only chopping and cooking food. You could do that at home in your own kitchen to the same standard right? Hey whilst your at it why don’t you ask if you can use his expensive knives and pans too?
6)Sometimes you will have to wait for your bike to be repaired even if it is a ‘2 minute job’
When the white queen has let go of the land, the grass turns deep green and the lambs gambol gayly in the fields, every fair weather cyclist in the land will drag his steed out of the shed, spending the cold months betwixt the lawn mower and those unused gym weights hidden away getting rusty. These are the times your mechanic will be red of eye and dirty of hand and his workbench in constant demand. Be nice to them they’re probably one cheap corroded in place canti brake away from a lifetime of solvent abuse. Free slots may be as afar away as a fortnight. Sadly this means your left-until-the-last-minute-wheel-rebuild-and-goddammit-I’m-important-and-racing-this-weekend repair is not getting done sunbeam. How mad would you be if your repair got bumped? However…
7) …if you really need something doing bribe us with food
Cookies please. Or doughnuts. Crisps at a push. Cake is always a winner. Bring me fruit and your beloved steed is going right to the back of the queue.
8)No really, wash your bloody bike
Please…
Fat Lad
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